I do not like it, Sam I am.
But every bit of life these days tells me how important it is. not for you, but for me. Or, maybe some for you (that’s not in my control) but mostly, yeah, for me. It’s not just fault-sharing (that’s not the point). It’s transparency. It’s baring burdens so we can bear burdens. And even though I don’t like it, here’s some vulnerability for you:
- I have more drafts of posts than published posts. because I am too scared to post things that don’t have jokes in them. for example,
- I have had this post open in my browser for four days.
FOUR. Days. That’s how hard it is to be open, even if (even if!) I’m not being a downer, but just also not one of those monkeys with cymbals. You know.
- I have watched more than one episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. Yes. I am ashamed.
- I thought boundaries were for other people, until I very, very, very mush needed them for mineself.
- I thought that boundaries meant fear and vulnerable meant weak and independent meant free. So basically I should have my English degrees revoked.
- I have always been scared of failure, which, as all the smart normal you-people know, is fantastically paralyzing and empty.
- That’s the portrait of Colleen without Jesus: fantastically paralyzed and empty.
- I am an extrovert who has to be forced to put on pants and leave the house, because as much as I like people and company, I like pantslessness and complete control of the internet more. #sloth
It’s Friday and I’m going to post this. No more waiting to see if I can make it better. Because that’s not the point. It never is.