Ten Things Tuesday #8: the Awkward Edition

I’m not promising ten this week, okay? (It’s not really a question! ha!)

  1. Let’s start out with the fact that Abbey just made me take a mental trip down Memory Lane, with a left turn onto Awkward Interactions with Dudes Boulevard (which is actually a cul-de-sac). That would probably produce ten things all on its own…There was the Mormon with the peaches in a Tulsa Wal-mart, the boy whose (candy) heart I literally crushed in junior high, the rough dozen of Korean cab drivers…
  2. Someday I will tell you about the love letters I got from a Korean Gov’t official whom I taught briefly while at my first job in Korea. Today is not that day (but it included references to my ‘beautiful neck and pace.’)
  3. When I was in 8th grade at my tiny church-run private school, we had a German class because 1 high schooler wanted to actually learn German and a bunch of 8th graders chose between that and calligraphy. I chose German because I’M COOL and no, actually it was because I thought it was the right decision because I’d actually be learning something instead of mucking about with markers! (I was a real joy to be around. Real joy.) It was an audio tape class. We made up our own vocab lists every week and had to memorize various Scriptures in German. I retained nothing except for John 14.6. The point is, as an 8th grader I fully believed there was a right and wrong  choice between German and calligraphy. LESS FUN means RIGHT. And there you have youthful Colleen’s understanding of Life, summed up.
  4. When I was a particularly beefy high schooler and my Dad was the principal and high school teacher, he once compared me to Samson in a school chapel service. He meant it as a compliment to my physical prowess.
  5. This is what I looked like in high school.
    History Day
    History Day Regionals, 2004

    My mom made this dress and it was awesome, despite the p-o’d expression that I wore from approx. 11-17.

  6. Today a lady got up on the bus and I was closest to her seat so, like you do, I did the requisite pause and then swooped in for it. Her seatmate, a fellow-60 something-ajumma, said something to me in Korean and did not move her hand. So naturally I sat on her hand for a good 30 seconds until I realized her seatmate had just hopped up to the front of the bus to ask the driver a question. And she was coming back. I got up. Apologized. The stares burn me still.
  7. Seated in a booth of a restaurant for a post-Bible-study lunch with a bunch of 30+ Korean ladies, all of whom have known Nate longer than I have, without  Nate, one of them told me she had a question. “Go ahead!” I chirped. “Is the sex good?” …..
  8. Once in college I saw a person approaching with whom I did not wish to speak and I pretended to be on the phone and it rang just as they were in the Greeting Zone.
  9. Okay more than once.
  10. Once during a high school chapel service one of the kindergartners came running over asking to be picked up, tugging on my uniform kilt. Which he did not release when I obliged. And everyone saw my underwear. And this was during my ‘I do not smile unless I’m ruining someone with sarcasm’ phase, so TRIPLE DAMAGE.

You guys with this topic I just SAILED through to ten things. I could keep going but THE END.

Ten Things Tuesday #6

  1. I was born and raised in Bloomfield Connecticut, but I and all nine of my siblings say y’all on the regular. Casually. It’s probably an even split between Y’all and You guys. Never  ‘Youse guys.’ Sally McMahon permitted y’all in her household, but ‘youse guys’ would have gotten you the grammar lecture to end all grammar lectures, delivered in a horrifying 30s era gangster impression, see? Shudder.
  2. Weekly conviction, from Emily by way of Sara. God’s not on social media.
  3. Things I Have Googled this week: When was Jonah written (courtesy of Nate texting Bible questions from work), what’s the difference between eau de parfum/eau de toilette (borne of too much beauty blog reading), how to take a screenshot (see last post), and ‘WWII German Artillery’ (from a discussion that arose during a Band of Brothers viewing).
  4. The weather is full-on schizo out here: Monday morning was straight-up balmy and I ran in shorts (or whatever halfway between capri and shorts would be called. what’s the word? oh yeah, unattractive) with no frostbite, and this morning was so frigid and windy that Nate and I had to shove our way through the buffeting gusts to reach the bus stop. Buffeting. Gusts.

    It’s set! It’s dry! None of those horrible chips and ridges and fingerprint ridges that happen when I inevitably poke my nails to see if they’re dry? #bless
  6. That Sally Hansen stuff is part of my current campaign to #SaveTheNails. I don’t know what it is: some form of seasonal affective disorder or just teenage rebellion, but this time of year my fingernails go straight to the Other Place. They’re thin. They’re brittle. They’re chipping and flaking right down to the quick. I picked up the Insta-Dri in hopes it will stop me picking my nails. Like maybe if they’re pretty enough I’ll leave them alone. I also picked up some cuticle butter that I want to eat because it smells like lemons.
  7. I will not eat the cuticle butter. I will not eat the cuticle butter. I will not eat the cuticle butter.
  8. Currently contemplating a follow-up to my student emails post about the ‘interesting facts’ my students had to submit about themselves this week. Teaser: ‘my nickname is Camel for 4 years.’ Yea? Nay?
  9. Currently listening to: Nate making robot noises in the kitchen while he toasts us up some garlic bread. Soundtrack of happiness.
  10. Today, after a month of no eye makeup, I tried to wing my eyeliner, and I did not stab myself, not even a little. Victory, o friends.

Ten Things Tuesday #4


  1. Last week of vacation has so far seen two mornings at the tax office. Hooray?
  2. I’ve been craving a haircut for about six months and am juuuust shy of hacking at it myself. We’ll see… (in the meantime, what do you guys think? Pixie again? Lob? the ajumma perm?)
  3. Operation Sugarless was utterly derailed by the holiday weekend…and by the cherry crumble I baked for Nate last night…and by the slice of pecan tart So Young and I shared to fortify ourselves for the tax office this morning (so you see it was necessary). I hold out high hopes for tomorrow.
  4. Themes that keep cropping up this week: consecration. praying big. taxes.
  5. There are a few movies that I only ever stumble across on TV during a routine channel-flip, and they always make me stay: Indiana Jones (Raiders), A Few Good Men, Demolition Man. It’s not the years, it’s the mileage. Thank you for playing ‘Should we or should we not follow the advice of the galactically stupid.’ Enhance your calm, John Spartan.
  6. ps. people in old movies move their heads SO MUCH when they kiss.  Why. Why is this. Is that how all old-timey directors thought people kissed? Did they not strain their necks? Am I doing something wrong? Are all of us? Food for thought, people.
  7. Currently watching: This dude, and dreaming of what might be this summer. Of note: my 5th grade teacher used to play some of his videos for us, because culture and history and all, but we wretched ingrates objected to his pleated pants and general unhipness. How the bratty have fallen.
  8. Currently listening to: This lady, as we’ve just finished Ken Burns’ Jazz.
  9. Mobile Word Ministry has a sermon video page! Next on the purchase list: a video camera that doesn’t automatically cut off at 20 minutes. #amen
  10. About eating healthy: Last night’s dinner was tuna, raw onion, cherry tomatoes, and pan-seared brussels sprouts with salt, pepper, lemon, and olive oil. My breath could punch you.

Look out, world.